Blog One “Magic Happened”
I had to replace my computer and while I wait for whatever can be salvaged I have no idea what blog number I was up to. This can be No 1 post covid or during covid or in our covid current world. I kind of feel like life can be measured in what were we doing before covid and what are we doing now.
It feels intrusive to just front up and say hey I’m here when I haven’t blogged in months, so apologies for that. I’ve been through fire people, but like the phoenix I have returned, a little battered, a little worse for wear but I’m back and something magical has happened.
Now I am reminded that if you believe in magic you see it everywhere and if you don’t believe in magic you won’t see it anywhere, but I believe, and I saw it.
I had been steadily getting smaller and weaker. I blamed it on my health, on covid, on being busy, on being broke, on not liking work, on getting older and so on it went. The Trish I used to know, trapeze Trish, circus Trish, obstacle course Trish, marathon running Trish, not afraid of anything Trish had been gradually chipped away at. I had been told, you’re not a spring chicken anymore, I actually got called Old Trish even though the schmuck who told me that had also told me to be careful of what words you allow in your head because it can poison you.
I had become so cautious and so fearful. I thought that I had learnt from experience and I was wiser but I wasn’t, I was just becoming old like a self fulfilling prophecy. Then this magical thing happened.
I had done an acro class with my pole instructor Kat maybe six months ago and I had refused to do just about everything she offered. No I’ll hurt myself, no I can’t possibly do that. No I’m not comfortable doing that. Kat worked her arse off trying to come up with alternative activities and in the end she offered to refund my class fee. I said no because I think even then I knew where the problem was and that was me.
I have been going to this current studio for a while and every time I go there’s jokes, there’s encouragement, there’s laughing. I started to hear comments like, Trish you’re strong enough to do this. Trish you’re a beast and slowly it started to permeate. I would refuse to do a move and the instructor would shrug or would say try this then and I started to think hang on I might just try this.
I got a one on one lesson with Kat where I found out that I could do a leg hang without a hitch. This was important to me. I had a class on Friday where I got shown the Dive (yeah that old chestnut) and it felt so much stronger and secure. Then I had Kat on Saturday and she was laughing about an exercise she wanted us to try. One person stands on another person’s shoulders and the person below does squats. I laughed in my head. Doesn’t Kat know how old I am? Doesn’t she realise there is no possible way I could stand on someone’s shoulders. I’m too big, I’ll hurt them.
I start looking around and no-one else was wusing out. They’re laughing, they’re saying no way but no one is running for the door. Kat mentioned the exercise and then we warmed up so I had time to think about it. The first part of the warm up I’m thinking just get up and leave, just go. You’re not a tree, you’re not planted here go, vote with your feet and I knew I could do that, no problem.
Then the Trish of Christmas past made an appearance. ‘Why shouldn’t you do it? Why shouldn’t you try? How many people get the opportunity to do this?’
So I did it. The moment I stood on Kat’s shoulders it was like an old uncomfortable coat fell off me. Like a hard shell that I had been slowly growing cracked and dropped. I stood up there and I had fun. I hung on to the pole for dear life but it was brilliant. It was exhilarating, fun and transformative. I realised that my decline in health and ability was not due to my body but my mind. The mind is a poor master but a good servant. Trish who has a go is back! How priceless a gift is this?
Later in that class I did a shoulder roll which I had refused to do in that earlier acro class and it was confirmation that the previous Trish was back.
A lesson to be learned is not to let people’s comments get to you but also don’t be the one making the comments you have no idea the damage you can do. There are people in this world who will try to clip your wings and then there are people like the ones at my pole studio who will remind you that you can fly.
I am so grateful to this pole studio. I nearly didn’t come back from this slump.
Thanks for reading, stay safe in this crazy world.
mort532 