Blog 10 High Heels, Superman and Face the Fear

boots

I am about to take an exotic dancing class. I started pole so that I could do the human flag, they call a variation of this the Iron X in pole. I also wanted to feel more comfortable in my own skin, so the offer of exotic dancing came up and I thought what the hell. Stay at the back, don’t make too much noise, they won’t even know you’re there.

I had arrived for my studio’s strength and conditioning class and Scarlett who runs the studio brought in some shoes for me to try in preparation for this class. Yes people there are shoes and OMG! I was going to get short boots because I figured they would stay on but Scarlett brought in thigh high boots as well. Now I have always wanted to have a pair of thigh high boots but where the heck would I wear them? Bring on Pole and your wishes are answered Trishy. I didn’t have time to try the thigh high boots before my class started so there they stood in the corner of the studio while we worked out.

I’m doing push ups and I’m thinking boots. I’m doing squats – it’s still boots. Pull ups – now the boots are actually talking to me, Trish come over here, you don’t need strength and conditioning you need us! There was 15 minutes to go and Scarlett comes in to wave goodbye. I wave back then when she’s gone I look at Sarah (she takes the Vital force class) aghast and ask if Scarlett had gone? Sarah can be a tat bit psychic and answered yes but she’s already said you can try the boots. I was all set to go running after Scarlett and throw myself at her car – SCARLETT THE BOOTS!!!! Anyhoo since Sarah is a mind reader there was no need for that. The class was finally finished and I had a date with those boots.

I put them on sooo carefully and then I got up so carefully and then I tottered around for a little bit in them. I made sure Sarah took my picture wearing them and then I thought I’m getting me a pair of these, yes sir. On a side note I have always thought that high heels were a way of restricting women’s movement so I have always been against them. These boots however reminded me of getting up on stilts when I was with circus I guess they are another type of prop or tool for the discipline. All of the pole shoes take strength and balance to be able to dance in them and not impale yourself while you dance.

On this same night my Superman arrived. I got the idea to use a mat because maybe the idea of smooshing my face into the floor was making me hesitate. I tried and failed a cupla times and Ella said you’re almost there and I thought almost is like a world away. I know I should have thought it’s close but I didn’t, it felt like it was an un-obtainable move. So I pounced on poor Sarah, and I said come work some magic. She didn’t look too convinced that she could do magic but I said just stand there and tell me what I’m doing wrong. So she watched and she said, shoot the hand out squeeze those legs and you will have it. So I thought righto my son I’m having this. So following Sarah’s instructions, blindly like someone leaping from a cliff, I shot my arm out and I squeezed my legs and bugger me if I didn’t get the superman. OMG!!!!! This is a cow of a move, there’s timing, strength and a soupcon of courage needed and it doesn’t help when others don’t seem to struggle with it but oh I wanted this move such a lot. I wanted to run around the studio yelling I got it, I got it, but that’s a crappy thing to do when others don’t have it yet. So I ran through the curtains, told Skye at the desk, (she handled the news very well) and I waited until I got home to announce my news on the facebook pole page. I wanted to announce it, not to brag but to acknowledge when it happened and that it did happen because for a long time I started to wonder if Superman was ever going to arrive. It took me forever to get to sleep that night.

I’m going to call Friday’s class hilarious. I went with an intention that completely didn’t materialise. I listen to a positive thinking cd on my way to class and I said to myself that I was going to have the Dive. I saw myself doing the Dive, I wanted the Dive, I was strong enough for the Dive, so tonight was the night.

We had a wonderful class where we did cool spins up high and worked on our leg hangs. I had to find my pocket and you need to be a poler to know what that means. My pockets two days later are still a little sore. Sarah spotted me for the leg hang and I got in a good position and I know that she is as strong as hell but when she said let go of your arms, in my head I was saying “no fucking way” but that translated from my mind to my throat and out of my mouth as “oh Sarah no way” and no hands were taken off that day. I know she’s strong but I am big and bony all at the same time I didn’t want to crush her if I fell, can you understand that?

I managed to do the Superman again, he’s a little wonky but he’s there but we didn’t do the Dive in class so I thought ok I’ll wait for the end of class and then the Dive is mine. The end of class came, up and I went and nuffink. It was bloody soul destroying. I was still pumped on a half hours worth of the ‘you can do it’ CD. I tried and I tried and I tried until I fell and pretty much lost feeling in my foot for a while and I thought well shito just because you visualise something, that doesn’t actually mean it will come – live and learn hey?

Saturday arrived and Emily was the instructor and that girl is a riot. She is gorgeous to look at but is so down to earth you feel like you have known her forever. Emily, God bless her, allowed us to work on a move that we wanted so off I went to Dive school. Amelia one of the students showed me how to fall and not hurt myself and Emily gave me some brilliant tips so I’m closer. I don’t have it yet but if I got the Superman I can get this.

While I was slogging away at the Dive I watched Emily demonstrate some moves for the more advanced students. I cannot imagine myself doing these moves. It is going to be amazing if I get them, one was called the Teddy bear and I thought teddy bear from hell? I know I’ve said it before but Pole is heaps more physical than I realised.

I had a go at the Genie, it wasn’t pretty but hey I had a crack. We did the Star gazer and I thought that was awful pretty. I know now that I am much happier with moves that involve holding on with my hands, leg holds pretty well freak me out. I’m going to take a tip from Amelia who was saying that she identifies her weaknesses and works on them.

I hadn’t had Emily for an instructor for a little while and I was kind of hoping to show her that I had improved since she had seen me last. She said at the end of the class that I had done good and that I was more willing to try things so I’m going to take that as moving forward. It’s funny but you want your trainers to be proud of you or at least know that you are working your tush off and that their work is appreciated.

I figured out this week that I am not so brave on the pole as I was with trapeze because I don’t feel as secure on this slippery metal upright structure as I used to on my perch. I’m sure with time I’ll get more confident with it and more confident in my abilities to hang on.

Thank you Universe for providing this studio, these instructors and my fellow students who I love to bits.

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